aie. well..i duno man. no dun get me wrong yea. nothing's wrong. i'll just sit back and wait. things will remain dis way. and hopefully turn for the better in time to come. time heals. time does. im sure it does. past experiences? hurt before? nah i duno. i said it be4 ill say it again. im not gona be like any other guy and say things like im different, i wun be like them. all i wana do is just show that to you. and thats not gona be easy, but do i care? no i dun. all that matters.

i understand why things are like this. i reli do. i reli noe why thrs all that trying to be hush hush and trying to keep it down. you've said before it doesnt reli matter. yea, i noe it doesnt..its just that things arent confirmed, tts y its like dis maybe. or mayb its just the starting stages. i wudnt noe. i just hope that as time goes on with me..wel, as before, that fear would fade for you. yup. happily. take ur time yea. the world won't wait but i as hell will.

aaand. wel mushy stuff. all i want to do. yes. just to see you smile. i duno. i cant help but feel that i sound manipulative and all i reli want is just to have someone to show off, someone to say 'hey, shes with me'. argh i just can help but feel someone thinks i'm like dis. and jus saying im not aint gona help. again. actions will show. ill show im nnot like that. how cud i be like that? i've never done dis before. i duno whats gona happen next. i dun haf experience. i believe in love. hell. yea.

and no, i am NOT affected by what people say. as 'upset' i may seem to be..well. im not really. yea like before (again)..its not what ppl think that matters. all that matters is what YOU think. so. aldo i reli cant understand what some ppl say about me when they hardly even noe me. geeziz. ok tts not the point. ppl can say what they wan, what they think. im sure ppl have perceptions. yea. thats their problem. argh. ok.

yea tts bout it for the sick confusing stuff. now back down to earth. now all that up thr. contact my agent. hahaha. yea. ppl who noe noe. ppl who dun. duno. hahahaha. ok lame. anyways. sorry for all that mushiness. had to say wots on my mind.

irv's dog's dying. spark. aw crap. i cudnt help waking up dis morning wid that sick sad feeling. i mean, yea, he aint my dog. but..i've gone to irv's place so many times..and its the dog tt llights up the family reli. i duno hows it gona be widout spark. kidney failure irv said the vet said. oh well..ppl come ppl go yea. all that matters is how u go on widout them, and whether u cherished them when they were ard. hahaha.


oh man wots wid me todae!? im getting all 'confucius say..' hahaha.

all i noe is confucius say 'men wid hands in their pockets will always be on the ball.'

hahahahahaha. ok tts that. thanks for coming todaey. hahaha. pls reli. dun mind the upstairs stuff. its comin from my heart yes. (aw not again)